Silver and Gold

Normally on Wednesday night I am at church, but this evening I stayed home. Kevin and I had both got home early from work and since it was not raining we decided to mow. He rushed around and got ready for church, but I felt God whispering for me to stay and visit with Him, so I did.

I sat our on the porch and read my Bible and then a chapter in the book I am reading. Then I just sat and listened to the birds and the wind rustling in the leaves of the tree. It seemed like the Lord was sitting there with me. We didn't really have to say anything, we just enjoyed one another's presence.

Tomorrow will be my 47th birthday. I was thinking about all I was so grateful for and began picturing all the people who have touched my life in the last year.

I have gained dome new friends in the last 12 months. Jana, the young woman I work with at the school. We did not even know each other before the school year began, but she has become so important to me. Lissa, a young police officer in our community who I go to church with. She is the SRO for our school system and I am blessed to get to see her each week. Kerri, another woman in the office. she is truly a sister in Christ. We share prayer requests and rejoice over the answers.

There are also those friends who have been around the block with me. My sister Leslea, who knows me better than I know myself. My friend Dianna, who I am in ministry with. She has become so dear. We are kindred spirits.

My friend Susan, who is a few years older than me, has been an encourager and a source of strength. a true example that I can follow.

The women I have never even met who read my blog, but share their thoughts with me. How I look forward to those comments.

And dozens of others. Debbie, at church, Leslie, at work, the ladies who bring me my tea each morning at Sonic Drive-in, I could go on and on. How my life is blessed because of them. Richer, fuller, more complete.

It reminds me of an old song:
Silver and gold, silver and gold
Make new friends, but keep the old.

Lord, bless my friends. I pray that they would know how much they mean to me. Help me to remember to tell them.

Sunshine

How many comments can one make about the weather lately? It's raining cats and dogs...do we need to buy a boat...rain, rain, go away... We all joke about it, but okay already.

My husband and I had planned a trip to the lake this weekend and obviously that is off. What a disappointment to me, as I have looked forward to the trip for some time. I love to just get away with Kevin and do nothing.

So, needless to say, in my time alone with the Lord this evening I eventually let Him know I was a little put out over the rain. "I just want the sun to shine," I whined. Immediatly He said, "The sun is shining." What? The sun is shining. The SUN is SHINING!

Wow! What a revelation. I guess that becasue I could not see it shining I thought it had disappeared. That the sun was taking a break like on the Jimmy Dean Sausage commercials. How ridiculous. Even though I can't see it, the sun is still shining. God set the sun in the sky and said that it would continue until His return. Then He will be the light. It isn't that the sun isn't shining, it's that my vision is blocked. There are clouds in the way. I don't need to ask for the sun to shine, it already is. I need to ask for the clouds to part, for the rain to dissipate.

It is the same way with knowing the Lord. Just because my physical eyes don't see Him doesn't mean He isn't there. He is always there. He is without end. It is just that I may have a few "clouds" blocking my view. Thank you for this truth Lord. Thank you that we can believe in something we don't see. Thank you for increasing my faith today.

So if the rain has got you down, remember, the SUN is SHINING! Storms can't stop it. The SON is ALIVE! Storms can't stop Him either.

Getting Past the Past

Several years ago I was the secretary at the church I attend. It was a job that I loved. I loved the people I worked with, I loved the people in the church, I loved the daily activities. Because I worked at the church and also attended the church, I was at the church alot. What seemed so natural to me, was not to my husband, who was a new believer. Looking back, I am sure he often wondered who I loved more, him or the church. So he asked me to quit my job. And when I could not do it, he did it for me.

Talk about devastating. One of the hardest years of my life followed. I did love my husband very much, but I soon realized that my whole identity was wrapped up in my position of church secretary. When I no longer possessed that title, I felt I was nothing. Everything I had been was lost to me. It created a lot of tension in my marriage, and it was extremely hard for me to continue to attend church. I felt empty. I felt dead.

Thank goodness that is not the end of the story. What seemed like a nightmare eventually ended. Slowly, but surely, with the help of people who loved me, I woke up. Time and the Holy Spirit do heal all wounds. We just have to let them be healed. If I had not given up what I wanted, I would have never recieved what God wanted.

It is not easy to let go of something you love. Sometimes only something you love more will cause it to happen. Honestly, there are times I still miss being the church secretary, but I would have missed my husband more. And, honestly, I loved the attention I recieved. I love people, and I want them to love me. But that doesn't take a title. Loving people is a choice. And they love you back because of how you treat them.

This was a hard lesson. It almost drove me from my church home. But, it didn't. And it has caused me to have compassion for those who have been through similar scenarios. Sometimes the past we are getting over is not one we are ashamed of, but one we wish we still had.

Lord, I pray for restoration today. Help us to take back those things the enemy has stolen. And help us to see our identity in you and not in a title. We are children of the King, royal priests, a holy nation. Nothing can take that away.