Last weekend I ran into a friend and we chatted for a bit. He and his wife were having a difficult time in their marriage and things looked very bleak in the natural. He spoke some words to me that I carried with me. He told me that he made a decision to love his wife many years ago and that the situation didn't change that decision. He may not have the "warm, fuzzies", but he still loves her. He told me that because of his decision to love, the affection came once, and could come again. Those words have resonated in my head and my heart.
A couple of days ago a young couple we are friends with asked for prayer for each-other and their marriage. The past few months had brought many changes in their home and recently they had dealt with more than their share of heartache, I promised to pray (and did) and encouraged them with the truth that the times they were in would not last; the tough times would be gone, but their family could endure.
This morning during my work commute/prayer time I was able to reflect on the words my friend had spoken and the truth of them in my own life. My marriage has been a roller coaster, a merry-go-round, and now is like a bench under the shade tree in the amusement park. Kevin and I have seen the best of times and the worst of times; we have endured, survived and thrived.
Twenty-six years ago we said these words to each-other: ...to have and to hold, forsaking all others, for better for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish till death do us part. I really thought about those words this morning. They are powerful. They are a commitment. They are not to be taken lightly. And, sadly, I have never thought about them after I said them till today. Thankfully, they are still in force. But it would probably do me good to remember from time to time.
I realized how blessed I am. Kevin and I made a decision many years ago to marry, though many probably thought we shouldn't, and it has been one of the best decisions of our lives. Kevin still puts a sparkle in my eye, and he can give me butterflies when he looks at me. The love that I see in his eyes is priceless. He makes me feel like a million bucks even on my worst day. I hope he sees the same love when he looks in my eyes.
We feel that way because we choose to. We made a decision to love and honor each other. That decision became the foundation for every other decision in our lives. We choose to be passionate about each-other. We each choose to put the other first. We choose be honest, even when it hurts. We choose live our lives loving instead of losing. Because any other way just won't work for us. We are all or nothing.
Proverbs 18 says he who finds a good wife finds a good thing. I think the same could be said for she who finds a good husband. It also says that person finds favor with God. Wow, a great spouse and favor from God. You can't beat it. So glad we made that decision.